My name is Herbert Blinder, I am from the Washington Ethical Society. Alice and Richard have asked me to lead their wedding ceremony. At this ceremony, I am using words that they selected to explain their understanding of marriage, and to express what they wish to say to their families, their friends, and to each other.

All of you who are here today have a relationship to each other through your ties to Richard and Alice and through your participation in this celebration. Together, we will share, as people in every age and culture have shared publicly, the moments when a woman and a man are joined in marriage by those personal and social bonds of love and responsibility.

Alice, Richard, this is your time, your day, your celebration. On this day, you publicly declare your love and commitment to each other, and you give each other what can only be given to one person: the primary place in your life.

Your families, who have given you life and sustenance are here with you. Your friends are here, standing with you. These are the people who have helped you become the two that you are. All of them support you as you join your lives together into one.

You have asked Sibren and Gabriel to join you here, to be with you at this moment of joy. By asking them to be close to you now, you symbolize that your love for them is deep and strong and will not be diminished by your marriage.

For you, the families of Alice and Richard, this is a special day in your lives as well as theirs. Alice, your brothers have traveled long distances to be with you now, and you value their presence deeply. You have also remarked more than once on how close Richard's family is, and how much you enjoy being a part of it.

And Richard, you have emphasized what a critically important concept "family" has been to you throughout your life. When Sibren was born your parents put together a photo album tracing your family back about 100 years, so that Sibren and later Gabriel could see their ancestors and appreciate their differences and similarities to themselves. Your mother wrote in the front of the book, "The best thing about a family is that wherever they are in the world, you can go to them and be surrounded by love. And even when you are far away from them, their love will reach out to you." Well, today they do not have to reach out very far, because - using the word "family" in a broad sense -- you both have the good fortune to be surrounded by a very extended family, consisting of people who are important to you and whose connections to you span decades and thousands of miles!

So all of you are here today because you are special friends of Richard and Alice. You have become even more valued because you are here and are sharing in this celebration. You have been their community, with whom they have shared good and bad times. The quality of your friendship has structured the quality of their lives. Now you will witness and confirm the primacy of their friendship for each other.

Though all of us here would like to give Alice and Richard the gift of happiness, it is not ours to give. Happiness and fulfillment will come to them in the building of their marriage. That marriage will not be made by these words we say here, or by this ceremony. We can only recognize commitments undertaken and celebrate promises made.

You now stand here as two individuals at the beginning of your life as one. Over the course of time you have come to know, respect and love each other. You share the same goals and ideals and only you two can make your marriage a living reality.

It will be you who will begin each day with a choice:

* to express caring or to be silent;

* to reveal love or to be busy;

* to acknowledge respect or to turn away;

* to take joy from each other or to nurture bitterness;

and through those daily choices to renew the wedding vows you will make today.

It will also be you who shape the possibilities for each other, by allowing each other the space and privacy to be individuals with emotions and purposes that are singular.

When you follow the leading of your own personalities and talents, then each of you will have the strength upon which you both can depend. So it is that you come together, ready to give of yourself and to accept each other, valuing each other's uniqueness, prepared to work, and to trust.

These are not new thoughts, but the frequency with which they have been cited in words, music, and deeds make them no less true or important. And so I would like now to ask Sibren and Gabriel to recite some words, written by others, on the work that it takes to build a marriage.

[Gabriel recites "My Rules", by Shel Silverstein]

[Sibren recites "I Do, I Will, I Have", by Ogden Nash]

The moral of the story is, it may take work, but at least you can smile while you're doing it… And now, will everyone please stand and remain standing during the vows and the ring ceremony.

Are you ready for your vows? (Both: "Yes.")

Will you Richard, give Alice, the vow by which you give yourself to her as husband? (Richard: "Yes.")

Will you Alice, give Richard, the vow by which you give yourself to him as wife? (Alice: "Yes.")

There is much about your lives that is untraditional. But you have both agreed that these very traditional marriage vows express your feelings well, so I now ask you the following:

Do you, Richard, take Alice to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, honor, and cherish, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?

(Richard: " I do. ")

Do you, Alice, take Richard to be your lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?

( Alice: "I do.")

[To ring bearers] May we have the rings?

[Matron of honor will have Rich's ring; Sibren and Gabriel will have Alice's.]

(To Richard) Repeat after me:

I, Richard, take you, Alice, to be my wife, and with this ring I marry you and join my life to yours.

(To Alice) Repeat after me:

I, Alice, take you, Richard, to be my husband, and with this ring I marry you and join my life to yours.

[Alice and Richard kiss]

Now you will feel no rain for each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your life together

And may your days be good, and long upon the earth.

May the love that you feel and share today, continue to grow deeper and stronger all the days of your life. Having declared yourselves to each other, among your families and your friends, you are now husband and wife.

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