Alice: We want to thank everyone for coming today. Everyone here plays some special role in Rich's and my lives. The last few months have been particularly crazy as we prepared for today, and we wanted to make some special mention of some people who variously cajoled, helped, and amused us along the way.

Rich: In the "cajoled" department, we would like to honor two very dear friends whom you've already heard from. So we would like to present the "Most Stalwart Advocates of the Marriage" award to Pat Robinson and Bob Frey. We've very grateful for their friendship, and I in particular look forward to never again having to hear, "So are you ever going to get your act together and marry Alice, or what?"

Alice: We also have been very moved and impressed by the great distances that many of you have traveled to be here. So, in the category of "Greatest Distance Traveled - Domestic" we would like to present an award - a book called "Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know" -- to my brother and sister-in-law, John and Keren Trenholme, who made a special trip from San Diego to be here.

Rich: Similarly, in the category of "Greatest Distance Traveled - Anywhere", also known as the "Jet Lag Award", I'd like to present the same book to my old friend Patrick Richards, who made a special trip from Bangkok, Thailand, to be here: a great circle distance of 8970 statute miles.

Alice: One of the travails that we've had to cope with over the past six months has been selling my old house and moving into our current one. Fortunately my house sold very quickly, thanks in part to the painting skills of two of our good friends. So we would like to present the "Leonardo da Vinci Housepainter Extraordinaire" Award to Beth Higgins and Warren Trachtman.

Rich: Beth and Warren not only helped above and beyond the call to get Alice's house in shape but helped out with the move itself. That effort took a small army of friends who worked very, very hard for many hours, uncomplainingly as long as the beer kept flowing. And so to thank them, and to show that the beer is still flowing, we'd like to present some Group Achievement Beer to Mary Shugrue, Ginger Reaves, Fred Patt, Bill Yancey, and John Ewing.

Rich: As long as he's here I should mention that John is my racquetball partner, and every week I am grateful for the opportunity to vent my aggressions on him. So after he has drunk his Moving Award I would like to encourage him to get back into shape by presenting him with some racquetball paraphernalia as the award for Most Sportsmanlike Racquetball Partner.

Alice: We now move into the "Creative Arts" category. We had a tremendous amount of fun creating our homemade invitations, and it seemed to inspire some of our guests to decorate their response cards in kind. We got smiley faces, and comments in the margin, and notes on the back. But we feel compelled to award the Oscar for "Most creatively Decorated Response Card" to the Toller family, for their rendition, on the response card, of four cartoon figures parachuting out of a rocket and into our wedding. With this set of giant markers the whole family can continue to exercise their creative urges.

Rich: At the other extreme of minimalist art, we also received one response card that had not a single mark on it: no check marks, no number of attendees, even the return envelope wasn't sealed. It definitely made a statement, and even if we have no way of knowing what the statement was we'd like to acknowledge the people making it. So we'd like to award this engraved pen as the "Less Is More" Response Card Creativity Award to the Patt family.

Alice: During the ceremony you heard us mention the importance of family to us, and how glad we are that so many family members could be with us here today. So we decided to make a special award for Best Kids. It was a tough call deciding who to give it to, but fortunately the judges are completely unbiased. So after careful consideration of all the possible candidates I'd like to present the Best Kids Award to my stepsons, Sibren and Gabriel. It's a membership at a Laser Tag studio, so they can work out their adolescent aggressions on each other instead of their stepmother.

Alice: And for our final award, we would both like to present the Around the World in 80 Days Award to my much-traveled new in-laws, who just got back from Spain less than 48 hours ago. In a couple of weeks they are off again to the beach for the summer, so we have some new beach-themed tee-shirts for them to wear there.

Rich: Finally, I would like to make mention of one person whom I particularly wanted to attend but who for work-related reasons unfortunately could not. Howard Levitsky is my oldest friend - we've known each other 34 years. Upon learning some months ago that we would be writing our own ceremony he engaged his usual wit and made some suggestions for it, which we almost half-seriously semi-considered using. So here is Howard's NASA-themed ceremony in its entirety. [Somebody] will play the part of the clergyman:

[Clergy]: OK, you two, in front of these witnesses: is this mission a go or a scrub?

Rich: Countdown is in its final seconds.

Alice: Affirmative. We have ignition.....

[Clergy]: ...we have liftoff! You may now apply mutual oral suction. Let's get some chow!

Rich: That's all. Thanks again to everyone! Please stay around and play and eat!